Into The Darkness Where The Primordial Was Broken

Ellie's diary #6

I feel lost. We’ve been at this whole werewolf thing for over 3 months now – it’s getting close to Christmas – and I still don’t feel like I’ve got anything figured out. As a Cahalith it’s my job to look after my pack, to warn of forthcoming dangers. As a Storm Lord I should be standing side by side with my Alpha, as a shining example to the pack. So far I am doing neither.

When I returned to the UK, when I followed my dreams to find Will and the others I thought it would just be like being a student again – living in a big house, all coming and going at odd hours and fighting over bathroom time. I never would have thought we’d be dealing with drug dens, cops and demons, none of us with jobs and living in an abandoned warehouse. I swear the only thing keeping me sane is being able to sneak out every few Saturdays into Bournemouth and pour my heart into the strings of my violin.

The worst of it, I think, is not the actual situations, but the back-biting and… anti-team-ness. I just wish I could see a way for us to get past all that this, and go back to the group we were before.

Maybe, just maybe, things would help if I actually stepped up. So far I’ve kind of shied away in the background, just doing as the others do, because I don’t seem to be able to understand this world as well as Will. But I if stopped my whining and moping, and actually asserted myself as Alpha [female at least], would it help and make a difference?



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